I Killed A Man Today, That I Thought I’d Never Kill

So before you freak out, please understand: I am a WRITER. Any persons I ever kill are FICTIONAL. Character death is not a crime, at least not a real crime. As a reader, character death SHOULD BE, many people would agree.

But, I have not murdered anyone, don’t worry.

What did happen today, though, is something I never expected.

I killed a character that I was 100% certain was going to live.

So I guess 100% is never exactly that.

It is this that proves writing is not a fully controlled thing. Characters have minds of their own. And it just so happened, this character leapt in front of his brother to save him from being killed. It was a shocking moment, but it was a beautiful one as well. T, the little brother, had never quite experienced true, selfless love. But then, R gives his life for him. It was a raw, powerful moment, and while I did not sob or feel any extreme wave of emotion, I couldn’t get over it. I think I am, in many ways, still in denial. But a verse flashed through my head that was so fitting: there is no greater love than this, that a man would lay down his life for his friends. It’s John 15:13, and it was in that moment, when R leapt in front of T to save him, that I was reminded what that means for us as humans. Jesus died for us, sure, and we know that and it’s a beautiful thing, and it is the greatest example of love. But we often forget that, in our calling to try and live like Jesus, that means, truly, to be willing to die for someone.

And I saw that in my characters.

It’s never easy, ending the life of a character. But it’s often a message that is powerful and worth sending.

Now the only hope is that it can get to the right person.

You are loved–worth dying for.


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